Sunsets and Shiny Rocks
These words were written in one of the hardest seasons of my life. At the time, they felt too personal and painful to share, so they have sat in my computer quietly. But this month surrounding International Women’s Day, I want to share a few reflections, including this one, in honor of the important women in my life.
This is in honor of my Grandma Cortes - if you knew her, you will understand most of these quirks and references. If you didn’t, I hope it causes you to think about the people who have left a mark on you. Maybe you could take some time today to let them know that, to thank them, and to thank God for the gift of them in your life.
I am proud of all the ways I am like you.
Of the way my teeth show too much when I smile. Of how I say silly things like – “I guess now I know what to get you for Christmas”. And how when I talk about inanimate objects they can turn into living things in the time it takes to put a sentence together – socks jumping off a diving board behind the dryer, headphones throwing a disco party every time I put them away, cupboards creeping open when I leave the room, books getting mad and hiding in unlikely places. I’m proud that I laugh easily and loudly.
I’m proud of how you taught me to always learn. To learn from people, from Scripture, from experiences, with time, with books, and in conversation. To always have a book or a few with me everywhere I go ‘in case’ I finish the one I’m reading. Because of you, I know I can never stop having goals, projects, dreams, and work to do.
I’m proud that I can take things just seriously enough, while taking myself not very seriously at all. That you challenged me to show Jesus to Every. Single. Person. I meet. That you’ve modeled to me what selfless service looks like- serving, teaching, spending time with people, loving people different than you, playing with kids, appreciating other cultures, making time for what is important.
Because of you I can never look at a sunset or sunrise or flower or rock without praising the One who crafted them. Because of you I will always love peanut butter and pizza (not together). Because of you I love the Word. Because of you I cherish family with a deep and passionate love. Because of you, I know I am loved and valuable and good. Because of you, I have memories so full of laughter and joy my heart could burst.
I’m grateful that you understood me. That you always wanted to spend time with me, to share your life with me, to listen to me share mine. That when we talked, only about half of the conversation was words (which says something because there were a lot of words!) and the other half was understanding. We GOT each other. We laughed at the same time, we got upset at the same time, we prayed together, we walked together. Our impatience, our struggles to get it all done, our frustrations and hopes, our loves, our desires for togetherness.
By some miracle, our journeys with Jesus intersected often on the same road, and I learned more from you than I can express. I am grateful that because of what you passed down to me through genes and time, someday I can hope to be a sliver of who you are. And even now, I am who I am because of you.
I am grateful that even as you’ve gone to be with Him, you have left behind in me a stamp, an imprint of who you are in who I am. Until we are reunited in His kingdom, where there will be no pain, grief, tears, or death.
