Time, Curious Time

I’ve always heard that time is different to God – God is outside of time, created time, a thousand years are a day, and a day is a thousand years. God is not slow as we understand it, but God is patient.  

I am not patient. Time to me is a prison and an off-the-rails freight train. At once slow and speeding. I don’t have enough of it and yet I never want to wait for it.  

But I’m noticing that the best things really do come with time. If someone would have told me that three or five or ten years ago, I would have rolled my eyes so aggressively they might have gotten stuck like everyone warns kids about. 

It’s true though. I got together with two dear friends this week. Friends who have known me for eight years. Through so many seasons we felt would never end, through waiting for so many things we wanted, through rushing where we wanted to go. Time has made our friendship sweeter.  

There’s nothing like being known over time by people who choose you. Who see every version of you. Who love and challenge and encourage you. Who can tell you to wait or to go for it. Who can sit with you in every season because they have before and they will again, and you will do the same for them.  

I have experienced the same in my relationship with God. I’ve known God my whole life, and we have walked together closely for thirteen years. Of course, I have felt closer and farther at times, experienced all the feelings, wrestled with every question. 

As I follow God, I am rarely sure if I should speed up or slow down. I am usually impatient for what comes next. God often speaks slower than I want, moves at a different pace than I would choose. But it is in the very time-bound seconds and minutes and days of my life that I experience God.

Knowing every moment of my impatient humanity - Jesus is patient with me. So I must believe that God is building something with the precious currency of our time spent together.

I must believe every moment is part of a bigger picture. I must believe there is a reason why desert seasons last longer than I would choose and joyful moments too often feel fleeting. I must believe there is a reason why God sometimes makes me wait and sometimes moves so suddenly I almost miss it. I must believe that this relationship built over time is not static but something living that will continue to grow and change with time.

A Prayer for Struggling with Time

Oh God, I am impatient. And of course, you know this, yet you placed me inside of time. Help me to believe that is a sign of grace and blessing. Help me to see glimpses of your goodness and abundance even in the midst of my impatience and the limitations of my humanity. As trees and flowers and people and friendships grow through the seasons, help me trust that our relationship will do the same.